Still confused... in German

30 October 2026

German lessons continue... This essay is part two of my German lessons saga. If you haven’t read “How Do You Say ‘Confused’ in German?” start there and come back. Welcome back friends! After class, I walked home in a fog, still convinced there must have been some mistake. I barreled into my apartment, ready to share the tomfoolery of my language school with my dear husband. “And then she just said, "'No, I don’t like to talk!” “No! That can’t be real!” We peeled into another round of laughter, dumbstruck at the school’s approach to learning. Then, I told him what Gregi from Greece had suggested, “Isn’t that silly? Why stay in a class where you don’t understand anything?” I peeled into another round of laughter, and this time found myself laughing alone. “Maybe it’s not so bad.” What?! His face holding a hesitant smile, my dear husband thought it was a good idea. “Maybe you see out the five months of lessons and if you don’t like it, we’ll find another school for the next level. But it’s up to you.” I prickled at his pragmatism. Where was his outrage (on my behalf) at the absence of English? We just said our vows and he’s already casting me aside. Where was the loyalty?! (Ok, I’m being dramatic, but if you haven’t picked up on this by now, FYI, I’m dramatic!) In hindsight, I can see now that I expected him to angrily exclaim that if they couldn’t teach German properly (i.e. using English) then I didn’t have to learn German at all. In my head, I was a damsel in distress, held captive by the fire-breathing dragon in the form of German lessons. Where was my knight in shining armor? “It’s up to you.” And that is how I found myself walking back into the class one week later. Week Two of German While skeptical of how an immersion method could work, I showed up five minutes early and once again the last person to arrive. Seriously, what time are people getting to class?! Anyway, where was I? Oh right, I sat in the front row of class. This time, I pulled out my phone and used a translation app to keep up with the class. With my expectations managed, the rhythm of class felt fairly established. We read aloud from the work book, did our partner exercises and wrote conjugations. Having the translation app gave me a sense of stability and a smidge of control. While I couldn’t translate every word spoken in class, I could find words as I needed them to follow along with the lesson. At one point, German Teacher assigned some sort of writing exercise. I used the app to tell her that I had NO CLUE what she had assigned. I expected her to use the App and type in what she had asked. Instead, she spoke slowly, pointed at the lesson in the book and through non-verbal communication and context clues I picked it up. When she walked around, I again wrote in the app that I was probably doing the assignment wrong. She read through it quickly and said “das ist gut (it is good).” It still didn’t make any sense — how could anyone be expected to learn in confusion?? I sat there and tried anyway. At some point, I realized I understood more than I thought I did. Context clues, nonverbal cues, consistent rhythm had allowed me to follow the class fairly well. I’d probably only increased my vocabulary by two or three words, but I made it through my second class. And I didn’t feel like a confused fool at the end of it. Imagine that. As of the date of writing this, I’ve had three German classes. The third was even better than the second. Perhaps, the immersion method does work. There’s only one way to find out. What I’ve learned from being confused I’ve learned two lessons these past few weeks. First, is that learning German (or any new skill) requires vulnerability. For me, learning a new language feels like I’m just constantly making mistakes. As a recovering perfectionist, making mistakes feels deeply uncomfortable. In the age of social media where everyone seems to already have figured out life, here I am as a young-ish middle aged woman at the beginning of something yet again. I can do this, I can be vulnerable, I can learn even when I’m scared to fail. My second lesson was a little unexpected. “It’s up to you.” I kept coming back to those words spoken so quietly, but firmly, by my husband. Despite my several decades of being on this beautiful green Earth, I am used to making choices with other people in mind. And waiting for other people to chime in or offer to help. But in this new chapter, things have to be different. In another confirmation of my excellent choice in partner, I realized what he already knew… I am my own knight in shining armor. I have to show up to rescue myself. Each time I do the hard thing that I don’t want to do, I rescue myself. By showing up each week, and taming the fire-breathing dragon in the form of German lessons, I choose myself, and that’s a beautiful lesson to learn. What lessons have you learned through new experiences or vulnerability? Leave a comment and share your story! Originally published on Substack on Nov 11, 2025.